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And dat ain’t cool, fool, ’cause it’s Friday.

February 19, 2010, 15:28 -05 by chris
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Enough about Tiger Woods, already. One of the blandest guys in the world known for playing one of the blandest ‘sports’ in the world gave one of the blandest press conferences ever about something nobody should actually care about. The economy? Housing crisis? Health care crisis? Iranian nukes? Schools conducting illegal surveillance? Nope, some sports celebrity who slept around (shocker!) is the “top story”. Yech.

Is there someone else up there we can talk to? No. Now go away or I shall re-record the vocal track a second time-uh.

The “carrying on about bacon to the point of absurdity and launching products that include bacon or bacon flavoring that probably shouldn’t” and “oversaturating a niche market with more pink, cutesy storefronts that only sell cupcakes” trends need to go away already. Websites with pictures of hipsters above droll captions are still, somehow, funny, though: Unhappy Hipsters / Hipster Puppies / LATFH / Hipster Handbook / LATFHB

Q: How many performance artists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: I don’t know. I left.

OK, I got nothin’. But this fulfills my ‘gotta update this thing every so often’ self-imposed obligation for the week anyway.

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